Future Knows Best?
by Ojii-san
Summary: The future thought it'd be easier to send help then to let everyone have troulbe...think again...read as a young youth gets into more trouble then he tries to fix for the Z Warriors...


((Well then...I figured out this idea and thought it'd be worth a good laugh. My first DBZ fanfic so enjoy!))

"Why in the hell is this happening to me? All I did was come back to make things easier for these guys!" A red haired youth thinks to himself as he flees for his life as Piccolo chases after him, Special beam cannon charged. What the hell is going on here? Why is Piccolo chasing after this guy? Let's rewind a bit shall we.

Six hundred years later, in a lab several hundred feet underground, an operation was about to commence. A man's voice sounds out, "Are you ready sir?" The same red haired youth we just saw nods his head as he lies on an operation table. The area around him was coated with a dark blue film, and only one tall man in a white lab coat could be seen. The man's face was just above the operating light so his facial features are unknown. The man's voice is heard once again, "This operation should not take any time at all. Once we are finished we will be able to install the cloaking chip that you will need for your mission." With these last words a hand comes down and cups over the red haired boys face. Slowly fumes seep in though the mouth piece. As the man takes his hand off of the mouth piece he speaks softer, "Now count backwards from one hundred." The boy inhales deeply and his voice softly begins to count. He barley made it past "who" and he was already out.

Hours went by and the boy awakes with a splitting head ach. The boy spoke in a gruff smart-aleck tone, "Ow, what'd they do? Take a sledge hammer to my skull?"

A man steps froth from the shadows wiping off a scalpel. "No, actually we took a scalpel to you and nothing more." The man said this rather bluntly and tossed the rag down onto the ground. He turned and walked out bow-legged. It would see the hours of standing had taken its toll on him. He set the scalpel on a counter by the exit and continued on his way. A smaller blond woman walked in after the man had stepped out. She held in her hand a briefcase. "I'm glad you are awake Artos. I have much to discuses with you before you set out on your mission." Artos sat up and adjusted the blue gown that they had made him wear before the operation had started. The young woman sat down beside Artos and set the briefcase she held in his lap.

Let's hurry up and get this over with, I'm ready to get started." Artos snuffed his nose at the briefcase as it was set in his lap. He had it in his mind that he was set for the mission without any help from the higher-ups.

The young blond whipped her hair back and smiled gently, "They told me you were a little pushy, but I would have to say you are a regular jackass." She giggled as she opened up the briefcase. She had hoped that such a wisecrack as she had just made would help settle her in with Artos as he wasn't much of a people person.

"Jackass?" Artos question. He laughed and leaned back, nearly falling off the table. "If only I had a dollar for everything someone called me that." He pulled himself up and looked down into the briefcase. "If that was true, then this case would be full of money."

The woman laughed once more and then took on a more serious face. "As much as I like chit chatting with you, we must get down to business. We have little time before you must depart." She pulled from her lab coat a pair of small, green framed, glasses and slipped them onto her face. The glasses gave much more of an impact on her doe like brown eyes. She reached into the briefcase and pulled out a small computer chip. "Lean over this way if you would Artos." Artos nodded his head and leaned over. The women brushed back the hair on the back of Artos's neck and saw a small flap that opened up on the back of Artos's neck. She quickly opened it and slipped in the chip.

Artos jolted back smacking his hand on the back of his neck. "What the hell was that for?" Artos pulled his hand away from his neck and looked at the women spitefully.

The women pointed to the briefcase, "Inside this briefcase holds individual chips that you can insert into the slot on the back of your neck. Immediately the chip will send a type of voltage to your brain through the nervous system in your spine. From there your brain will activate the ability locked inside of that chip."

Artos nodded as he looked down at the case. He picks up a bright yellow chip and looks at it curiously. "What does this one do?"

The woman looks at it and smiles slightly. "Why not try it out for yourself? Just apply pressure to the slot on the back of your neck and it will eject the chip already installed; after that just slip in the new chip, simple as that."

Artos once more nodded and pressed on the back of his neck. He felt tention ease in his neck as the chip popped out and landed in his hand. He pulled his hand back around and dropped the chip into the briefcase and took the yellow chip and slipped it into the back of his neck. It was at that point that Artos grabbed his neck and feel to the floor. The briefcase full of chips would of went with him if it hadn't of been for the woman beside him. She laughed to herself as she knew just what had happened to Artos. After many moments of squirming on the floor, Artos stands up and opens his mouth to give the woman a piece of his mind. However, no sound came from his mouth. He tried for several minutes of trying to cuss the woman out, but only got himself red in the face.

The woman's laughs by this time were uncontainable. She set the case on the table and held onto her gut. She spoke through her laughter, "That…that…was the…" She laughed even harder, "…the mute…mute chip!" She slapped her knee and attempted to calm herself.

It was at this point a man in a black suit came into the room. He looked over at Artos and nodded to him. "It is time to go sir."

Artos reached his arm back to eject the chip, but had his hand grabbed by the man in black.

The blond woman, who by now had stopped laughing, looked at Artos and said in a serious voice, "There is no time. You can remove the chip once you get to your destination."

Artos dropped his head as the man in black dragged him out of the room. The woman picked up the case and tossed it at Artos. He lifted on hand slowly and caught it by the handle and let it drop again as he left the room.

Outside of the room, was what appeared to be a launch pad. After the man in black had let go of Artos's hand he scratched his head in wonder. He thought in his mind, "What do they not have in this small area?"

A bearded man walked up to Artos and pushed him from behind. "Come on now, we have not time to waste. We must get you dressed." The man's whiskers brushed up against Artos's arm.

Artos opened his mouth out to scream at the man, but no sound had came out. He dropped his head and sighed. He thought to himself once again, "Damn this chip! Why can't I go ahead and get it out? Huh? Why?"

The man shoved Artos behind a curtain and ripped away the gown he was wearing. He then pointed to the cloths that hung up above his had. Artos's face was blood red. He held the briefcase over his privates. He thought angrily to himself, "Damn old fart. The least he could of done would be to let me do it myself!" Artos didn't have anymore time to think as the man was about to start dressing him. Artos grabbed the man's arm and tossed him out from behind the curtain. The as quickly as he had tossed the man, Artos was dressed. He walked out from behind the curtain wearing a pair of dark blue, baggy legged pants. A gold belt kept them around his waist. A red shirt was pulled over his head with silver scales around the abdomen area. Artos stepped into a pair of black boots that went just above his ankles. He looked himself over in the mirror and brushed his red hair to the side. His bright yellow eyes glared back at him. He thought to himself, "Oh yes, I am one sexy beast."

The blond woman from before walked into the room and looked over at Artos, "Oh doesn't he just look so darling in that outfit?"

Artos dropped his head and thought to himself in shame, "if that isn't a shot at the manhood, I don't know what is."

The bearded man walked over to Artos, "Time for you to go." Artos nodded as he looked over at the space ship looking thing. In all reality it was a time machine. Artos stepped into the cockpit of the capsule part of the machine and waved slightly to everyone as the glassed closed.

Artos was on a mission back to the past to aid to Z-Warriors in all their fights. Though the future had been saved many a time, many hardships had to be endured each and every time. It was Artos's job to go back and make things easier. That was why he had the operation and had the chip system installed in his body. With the chip system things would be a snap for everyone.

Outside of the time capsule everyone watched as Artos made his final goodbyes to their dear friend. Inside the capsule Artos looked at everyone with a strange look, "Why in the hell are they staring at me for? I could give a rats ass about half of them." Artos pressed one single button that activated the time capsule. The time Artos was going to was preprogrammed as the time capsule was made for a one way trip. Lights began to flash around the time capsule, and in the same instant the capsule was gone.

The blond woman turned around to everyone and smiled, "Well it is complete. Now we put our trust in him." She turns back around and blinks. "Does Artos even know how to control the time capsule?" Everyone behind her nearly feel over. The woman scratched the back of her head and blushed slightly, "Woops...looks like we really need to put our trust in him now, more then ever." She laughed half heartedly.

Artos looked around him, darkness, with the occasional white light, shown around him. "How long is this going to take?" Artos thought to himself and raised his arm back. "Oh well, I guess I have enough time to get this chip out of me." Artos reached back and tried to reach his neck. However, the capsule was far too cramped while he was sitting down to do anything. Artos reached one leg up and out of the seat. He made more room this way and was able to reach his neck. "Ok I almost got it…just need to move my leg a little bit more foreword." With that last thought Artos extended his leg ever so slightly foreword. It was then that he heard a siren going off. He thought, "I guess that means that am almost th…" Artos felt his body shake and get flung back. His neck smashed into the metal panel behind him, sending out an electric shock though his body. The darkness around the capsule dispersed. Artos would have noticed the change; however, he was out cold from the shock he had just received. It would appear that Artos had made it to his destination, minus one fact; he was plummeting towards the ground.

"Goku hold him for just a minunte more!" Piccolo called out to Goku as he held onto his brother, Raditz. The air around Piccolo heated up his Special Beam Cannon. His green skin bulged out as he gathered up power into his index and middle fingers. He stared down the sayain brothers. Both looked alike, aside form Goku's orange pants and short black hair. Raditz had longer black hair, brown and white battle armor and a green scooter on his face. "Alright Goku! I'm going to let him ha…"

Piccolo yelled to his partner when Artos's capsule landed onto of the two sayain brothers, and exploded immediately. The explosion sent Piccolo flying onto his back. When he raised his head he saw on lone person walking out of the smoldering flames, carrying two bodies. Artos colasped to the ground with Goku and Raditz's dying bodies. Piccolo looked over the dying sayain warrior and spit on the ground.

Raditz laughed and coughed up blood. "How in the hell? Where did such an attack come from; one that could topple me."

Piccolo only shrugged as he looked up at the sky, then down towards the flames. Then his glance went towards the Artos, who lied beside Goku. "Who in the hell?"

Goku looked up at Piccolo and smiled while laughing. "It seems we got him huh?" Piccolo nodded as he turned back to Raditz who appeared to be dead now. Goku continued, "It appears I won't be walking away from this one." After these words Goku's eyes went blank and his breathing slowed, then stopped all together.

Piccolo only shook his head and turned back to Raditz who was faintly laughing once more. Piccolo kicked at his side, flipping him over. "Why are you laughing? You are the one who is dead for good."

Raditz's laugh stopped as he coughed up more blood. "I think not. An attack like that won't kill me so easily."

Piccolo kicked at Raditz's side once more. "It might not of, but I can easily kill you now with one attack. I'll have the others hunt down the Dragonballs and revive Goku. So in the end, you've lost everything."

Raditz only laughed, "Such a petty idea. What good will it do you when my partners show up here. You see, this scooter on my head is also a communicator. They heard your plan, and I am sure they are interested in these "balls" of yours."

Piccolo grew irritated at this point and kicked Raditz up into the air and charged up a ball of energy and flung it at Raditz, evaporating him in an instant. Piccolo then turned to Artos, who by now was on his feet brushing off his cloths. "You? Who are you? Where did you come from."

Artos opened his mouth to speak, but had forgotten about the chip that he had inserted before. He pressed on the back of his neck and felt small pieces of the chip spit out. He brought his hand around and looked into it, seeing the shattered chip. He shrugged and opened his mouth to speak, once again, now sound. Artos panicked, "what in the hell? I removed the chip…unless…" Artos snapped his fingers. "The schock from before must of fried the program into my brain." Artos dropped his head. "Great, that is just want I need. I have a mad Namek on my hands, who wants an explanation and I cannot give him one."

Piccolo by this point grew irritated. "Answer me now or have a taste of what I failed to give to Raditz because of you!"

Artos scratched his head in thought, and then came up with an idea. He'd do sign language. He did many bogus hand signals the pointed to the sky and motioned something crashing into the ground.

Piccolo stepped back, "I have no idea what you just said, but it appears you came from the sky; the same place the Sayains came from. You must be with them!" Piccolo then charged towards Artos.

Artos opened his mouth to scream. He lepted into the air and avoided the attack from Piccolo. "What the hell was I thinking! I don't know the first part of sign language!" Artos landed on the ground then turned and began to run. "Why in the hell is this happening to me? All I did was come back to make things easier for these guys!" Artos thought to himself as he fled for his life as Piccolo chased after him, Special beam cannon charged.

((that's all for now...more chapters to come soon...what do you think will happen to poor ol Artos? Do we care? maybe...lol!))


End file.
